So the last few days God has been speaking to me quite a bit. Probably wondering why we are having to go down some of the same roads again. There truly have been about five or six revelations He has shown me or reminded me of once again about myself or Jason and I's life right now.
However, what I wanted to share with those who read my blog is how frustrated I get when I allow the enemy to distract me with being preoccupied. It really does not matter what it is--from being tired, to watching TV, to homework, cleaning, to trying to lean on my own understanding, or my plans for Jason and I's life instead of the Lords, etc.. The enemy knows my weakness and he is out to devour.
Everyone's walk with the Lord looks a little different from the way they worship, spend personal time with him and so on. For myself I need daily time with the Lord. The last several months I have fallen into the "preoccupation trap"-- if you will-- and not been having that time consitently. When I am not, I am not as joyful, loving, servant-hearted, content, and at peace. (You could reverse that last sentence and say I am more easily discontent, bitter, and selfish)The reason being is because our nature and flesh are ugly and selfish. I obviously needed to be humbled again to remember and be EVER SO GRATEFUL that we have no good in us apart from Him. So if I wanted to find more of my joy and servant heart again I had to FIX MY EYES on Him, reach up, take His hand and grab hold of it once again. If only we could learn and experience a truth once and never have to revisit it again.
Many of you out there will understand the following... It is not that in the times I am yielding too much to the flesh or the schemes of the enemy that I am always unhappy, miserable, sad, or ungrateful but the abundance of life that the Lord desires to give me can not be at its fullest. I deisre to fulfill every single purpose that the Lord has for me in this season right now for the sake of His kingdom, and I am missing out when I am not in tune, growing daily in wisdom and discernement, and communing with HIM!!! I must embrace the here and now for His kingdom purposes and for myself can not do that fully enough without my time with Him.
Thank You Lord for your mercy, compassion, patience and love. Invade our lives!